Respect is not something you beg for, it’s something you choose

There’s a truth most of us would rather avoid, but it’s there, like dust under the carpet: not everyone will respect you. Some won’t because they don’t notice, some because they don’t know how.

And when it happens, we often start asking the wrong questions. “Did I do something wrong?” “Was I too kind? Too available?” We twist ourselves into knots, hoping to understand what may simply be someone else’s problem.

But the issue isn’t why it happens. The real question is: what do we do with it?

Because respect, when it’s missing, hurts. And the first instinct is to react, to speak louder, to defend ourselves. But every time we match someone else’s aggression, we lose a piece of ourselves. We become a version of us shaped by someone else’s disrespect.

The hardest choice is to stay faithful to who we are, even when the world dares us to become someone else. That takes courage. To remain calm when you’re provoked. To stay kind when you’re mocked. That’s not weakness. That’s strength with a backbone.

And then there are boundaries, those invisible lines that say, “Here I end, and you begin.” They’re not walls. They’re doors with locks. You don’t put them up because you hate others, but because you love your peace.

Now, empathy. It’s beautiful, yes, but if you give it away without discernment, it becomes self-abandonment. Understanding people doesn't mean excusing them. You can say: “I understand you. But how you treated me? That’s not okay.”

And sometimes, the most loving, mature thing you can do is leave with grace. No drama. No exit speeches. Just a gentle goodbye. Because your value doesn’t need a round of applause. You just need to know you’ve stayed true to yourself.

Quietly. Clearly. Kindly.

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You don't need to stay where you're not seen or respected.Explore how coaching can help you and possibly access a pro bono cycle with me. Nicola Arnese offers these sessions in his free time so as not to create conflicts with other professional commitments. Some flexibility in scheduling may be necessary.